Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
