You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
