Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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