I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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