She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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