Say something about gay babies.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
