If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
