you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize