Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
