I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
