He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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