I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
