That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
