erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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