My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
