just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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