Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
