my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize