so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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