literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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