just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
