tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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