Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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