i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
