her vagine was all disorganized.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
