Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
