i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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