I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
