Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
