i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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