dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to calm my uterus...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
