Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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