If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
