Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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