guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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