haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
