you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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