Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
