Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
