im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
