Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
