Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
