im about as happy as oj after his trial
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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