I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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