Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
