I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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