Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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