ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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