Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
