I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
