did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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