Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
