week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
