Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
