Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
