You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
