Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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