You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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