went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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