You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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