this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
