some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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