Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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