Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
