a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
