i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize